Translated to English by Mr. Pencil for WareChip Enterprises
The year was 64 AD, a year marked by both triumph and tribulation! My latest theatrical production, "The Burning of Troy," had been met with thunderous applause (though some critics, lacking in true artistic vision, dared to call it 'overly long'). However, a far more perplexing drama was unfolding in my own imperial gardens. The lettuce, you see, was wilting. Not simply wilting, but positively shriveling before its time! My esteemed botanists, men of science and reason, were baffled. Then, a wizened old scholar, one Lucius Claudius, presented me with a most outlandish theory. He spoke of ancient beings, 'Anunnaki,' who, it seems, possessed an insatiable appetite for Roman lettuce. 'They descend from the heavens,' he proclaimed, 'and feast upon our crops!' I must confess, I was intrigued. Could these celestial beings be the divine inspiration behind my own artistic endeavors? Or were they merely jealous of my horticultural achievements? Alas, the mystery remained unsolved. I ordered the construction of a magnificent salad bar, fit for gods and emperors alike, but the Anunnaki, if they indeed existed, did not partake. Perhaps they preferred their lettuce with a side of lyre music...
Comments